Kate and the Beanstalk

Well, it's that time of year again....

Every Thursday throughout the school year, each class runs an assembly.

This week... it was Kate's class.

About a week ago, she came home with some small slips of paper attached to her homework assignment.

"What are these, Kate?" I asked suspiciously.

"Oh, we're doing Jack and the Beanstalk for 'ssembly." She said breezily.

"So, what are these?" I repeated.

"I'm the mother," she finally answered.

The mother.

Three lines.

A speaking role.

Oh, dear.

Now, we all know Kate and her love of public appearances. In a nutshell, she generally hates them. Doesn't do well at them. (Though she was absolutely stellar as the Christmas star in last year's nativity.)

So, we learned lines. I put together a costume. Gran made an apron and headscarf.

And I held my breath.

They were rehearsing when we got there. A load of parents showed up and then the rest of the school slowly filed in. I was careful not to make too much eye contact incase I saw the look of sheer terror as she realized what she was going to have to do and how many people she was going to do it in front of.

Yes, Jack looks suspiciously like a Jedi Knight.

The preparation:

The opening number:

"Jack, take the cow to the market"

"You must sell her and you must bring me the money."

"Where's the money?"

"Magic Beans?"

"No money! No cow! Only beans!"

Kate chops down the beanstalk!

The big finish!

No hard feelings. Kate and the Ogre are still friends. (Though there is some dispute as to who gets custody of the cow.)

If you want to torture yourself... you can watch bits and pieces of the performance here.....